What's next?

You're as Old as You Feel

I never payed any attention to this saying until I turned 20 last month. Normally, when I have a birthday, I never feel any different, nor do act any different. But for some reason this one has me feeling as if my life has reached a turning point.I guess you could say that I truly feel older than the teenager I was a month ago, especially being faced with actual problems that don't involve typical teenage drama. Nothing in particular has changed, I'm still in school and still living with my parents. But with the age of 20 apparently comes a lot of questions such as, "So, do u have a job lined up for after college?" or "Are you dating anyone? And if not why?"OH! and "When are you moving out?" Before, I used to brush these questions off my shoulders because I was simply too young to give them any reasonable thought. However, my family kept asking them, and I began to wonder what the actual answers were.
When I was younger, like many other girls, I had my life planned out. I would go to college, become a doctor, get married at 24 and have 2 children by 28. HA! what a dreamer I was. I couldn't possibly imagine doing any of that in the next few years (except the doctor part). Its almost as if I will be going down a completely different path. It seems now that, that time is approaching I have absolutely no plan, and plans, are something I pride myself on.
The more and more I think about that cliche goal I had set for myself, the more and more despise it. Perhaps it's because I'm nowhere near that goal or possibly because I've grown out of that "this is what a happy life is like" mindset. Either way, this birthday leaves with the tormenting question, "What's next?"