Thursday, September 3, 2009

I Got High Today...

It was amazing, a high that I had never felt before. It was hypnotizing and consumed my entire mind, body and thought process. But wait, before you get your panties in a bunch, just listen. It wasn't weed or alcohol or even sex. It was something better. Something that wasn't going to wear off or cause me to eat my weight in snacks. It was simple, no riddles, no complications and no inhibitions. It was indescribable, a feeling that was so unattainable, I was too afraid to let it go. NO, it certainly wasn't love, how many times have YOU felt that way with love? It was something like a sense of accomplishment or even complete adoration for myself and what I had done, what I could do, what I am going to do. It was natural and pure, like an innocent reward or treat that I didn't deserve. It was a taste, one that I had to savor, it may never come again.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

What's next?

You're as Old as You Feel

I never payed any attention to this saying until I turned 20 last month. Normally, when I have a birthday, I never feel any different, nor do act any different. But for some reason this one has me feeling as if my life has reached a turning point.I guess you could say that I truly feel older than the teenager I was a month ago, especially being faced with actual problems that don't involve typical teenage drama. Nothing in particular has changed, I'm still in school and still living with my parents. But with the age of 20 apparently comes a lot of questions such as, "So, do u have a job lined up for after college?" or "Are you dating anyone? And if not why?"OH! and "When are you moving out?" Before, I used to brush these questions off my shoulders because I was simply too young to give them any reasonable thought. However, my family kept asking them, and I began to wonder what the actual answers were.
When I was younger, like many other girls, I had my life planned out. I would go to college, become a doctor, get married at 24 and have 2 children by 28. HA! what a dreamer I was. I couldn't possibly imagine doing any of that in the next few years (except the doctor part). Its almost as if I will be going down a completely different path. It seems now that, that time is approaching I have absolutely no plan, and plans, are something I pride myself on.
The more and more I think about that cliche goal I had set for myself, the more and more despise it. Perhaps it's because I'm nowhere near that goal or possibly because I've grown out of that "this is what a happy life is like" mindset. Either way, this birthday leaves with the tormenting question, "What's next?"

Monday, July 13, 2009


Everyone has them, but where do they begin and end?
In the past year I have realized that they are different for everyone, as naive as that may sound.
I'm not talking about basic tests or morality or yellow police tape; I'm tlaking about the personal highest test of friends ship: "To date or not to date...a friend's ex?"
Some of us may have had the privilege of never having to make that decision but then there are those of us that have faced this dilemma of deciding if it is worth the loss of a friendship, for a relationship that may only last one night, or possibly a lifetime of happiness. Now, the usual reaction to a friend's ex is "NO! I would never go there!" But what if your friend's ex was YOUR soul mate? Does that mean you have missed out on the love of your life just because it didn't work out with a friend? Or would you give it a try and maybe lose the guy and the friend? I suppose it depends on your relationships with both parties before the proposed affair, but ultimately it depends on what you're willing to lose. Which one is expendable? Find the collateral damage in the situation and you have your decision...right? Of course it would be very unfortunate to find out that you are in fact expendable to people that at one point were very important to you. So with that said, if it was meant to be, then it will be despite the circumstances. There is no need to force it by potentially ruining a friendship or relationship.

Birth order

I recently read an article in Time magazine that addressed the birth order in the typical American family. It said that one's success is often determined by the order in which they were born. The article gave several examples such as Teddy Roosevelt and his alcoholic little brother Elliot. Or Alec Baldwin and all of his younger siblings, or even the Bush siblings. It goes on to say that older siblings typically have 2.3 points higher on their IQ's which usually results in a 15 point higher sat score. Which in the end may result in attending a better school. The artilce then proceeds to breakdown characteristics of a three child home. Myself being a product of that I became very intrigued from this point on. So here it is:

Oldest child:
  • May be better educated than younger siblings
  • Likelier to hold a professional position
  • More concerned with meeting parents expectations
  • Likelier to serve as family historian and guardian
  • Higher IQ than younger siblings.
Middle child:
  • May take longer to choose career than other siblings
  • less connected to family, moreso to friends
  • May de-identify from odlest, making opposite choices
  • Lacks the parental recognition first and last may enjoy therefore resulting in low self esteem.
Youngest child:
  • More tolerant of risk
  • Likelier to be an adventurer, artist or entrepreneur
  • Often physically smaller than first borns
  • Less likely to be vaccinated
  • Frequently funnier than other siblings.
Now of course all of this wouldn't necessarily pertain to each individual family, but take a look and see if any correspond to the birth order in your household. I did, and was completely shocked by the differences in eduacation, life goals and even physical size. I always thought my siblings and I were very similar until I realized that we are traveling down completely different life paths. My oldest sibling majoring in psycology, middle sibling doing finance and myself majoring in photojournalism. The list doesn't end there but i don't want to scare you away with a two page blog, so take a look and feel free to comment!